~ Chapter 11 ~
Kevin and Fatima came back into the room. Four heads whipped in their direction, inquisitive looks on their faces. Fatima propelled Kevin forward. "Tell them what we talked about," she prodded the reluctant Kentuckian.
Kevin sighed. "Guys, there something that you need to know," he said, sitting down on the floor.
Brian sat down beside him. "Talk to us, Kev. We know that something is wrong."
Kevin took a deep breath. "You guys have probably noticed that I haven't been myself in a while..."
"No joke," AJ interrupted smugly.
Kevin looked at him sharply, but continued, "Since last year I've been dealing with stress by drinking. Whiskey, Gin, Rum, Scotch, whatever I could find."
There was an audible gasp from Howie. "You're an alcoholic?" he asked, the shock evident in his voice.
"No! I'm not. As I told Ti, I just do it to alleviate the stress and occasional nervousness. I can stop anytime. I promised Ti that I would."
"You aren't on drugs?" Howie asked him.
"No, I'm not. How could you guys even think that?"
"I never did," Howie defended himself. "It was AJ and Brian."
Kevin looked at his cousin sadly. "You thought I was on drugs, B? I thought you knew me better than that."
"I'm sorry Kev. There were signs. But alcohol is not good, either. Please tell me that you'll stop."
"I already told you that I promised Ti. Isn't that good enough?" He got up and paced the floor angrily.
He stopped in front of Nick. "You're not saying anything. What gives?"
"I have nothing to say," he mumbled. "As long as you're ok, that's all I care about."
"Yea, if only you knew..." Kevin said under his breath.
"What?"
"Nothing Nick. Keep living in your dreamworld. You're safer there." Leaving Nick with a baffled look on his face, he walked to the other side of the room and started rehearsing.
Paris...a week later...
"This city is so beautiful!" Loreto gushed.
"We're only here a day," Shae said.
"Yea. Sucks. Why don't we go take a tour of the city? Or would you rather go watch the guys rehearse?"
"I've seen them rehearse everyday for a week now. I can do the routines in my sleep."
Loreto laughed. She saw Kevin and AJ out of the corner of her eye. She had been avoiding Kevin ever since their little encounter the week before in Belgium.
"Look Kev..two lovely ladies," AJ said, sitting down beside Shae. "What are you girls going to do in this magnificent city today?"
"We were talking about taking a tour of the city," Loreto answered him, watching Kevin out of the corner of her eye. He was sitting on a chair, drinking OJ.
"That sounds fun. Brian and Leighanne left to do that about twenty minutes ago."
"They did?" Shae asked. "Don't you have to rehearse?"
"Not now. We have soundcheck an hour or so before the show. That's it."
"Then it's settled," Loreto said. "Let's go see Paree! I've always wanted to see how the French live."
"Do you mind if I tag along?" AJ asked.
"Of course not," Shae replied. "Kev? Do you want to come?"
He looked up from his newspaper. "No thanks. I'm tired from the plane ride. You kids have fun."
"We can ask Howie and Nick if they want to come," Loreto suggested, trying not show how disappointed she was in Kevin.
"I'll go get them and we'll meet you in front of the hotel in 15," AJ said.
Fifteen minutes later, AJ and Howie joined Shae and Loreto. "Where's Nick?" Shae asked.
"I don't know," AJ replied. "My mom said that he left by himself about an hour ago. Said he was going to relax."
"Oh." Shae sighed. Another boring day without Nick. She might as well get used to it.
They decided to walk. Shae lagged behind the others. Howie stopped and waited until she caught up to him. "You look upset. Are you ok?"
"Yea. Just thinking."
"About Nicky?"
Shae was startled. "Uh, yea. Are you psychic?"
"No, but you've had that look on your face for a week now. You need to forget about him and give someone else a chance."
She laughed bitterly. "Howie, first of all, look at me. Take a long, hard look. I'm not some beauty queen. So who else is going to want a chance? Not that Nick ever will, but let me live in my dreamworld. It's safer here." Little did she know she had repeated the very same words that Kevin had said to Nick the week before.
"Shae, stop putting yourself down. There's nothing wrong with you."
"Are you blind? I'm overweight, ugly, I have hair in places that I shouldn't..."
"STOP IT!" Howie grabbed her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. "I'm not blind. You are a very pretty girl. Sure, maybe you could stand to lose a few pounds, but appearance does not a person make. It's what's inside that counts. What's in your heart. I've spent eight days with you now and I can honestly say that you are a sweet, loving person who's insecure. I don't know what happened to make you like this, but you can talk to me. Maybe I can help."
"Make me like this? Where do you get off thinking that you know ANYTHING about me? Eight days out of 23 years Howie. You know nothing. I don't need help and I certainly don't want to talk to a Backstreet Boy about my personal problems."
"I'm just a regular guy."
"YES I KNOW! So you've said. A thousand f**king times!"
Howie stepped back, stunned by the anger in her voice. "Shae, I understand what...."
Shae sneered. "YOU understand? You? What do you understand? Oh wait, let me think. I guess you would understand how it feels to be unloved since you have so little fans and everyone makes fun of you. But I guess you know that, don't you? How does it feel to be insulted, Howie? How does it feel to be called names like troll? Tell me..." She moved away from him and starting running in the opposite direction.
Howie stood rooted to the spot. He didn't try to follow her. Tears burned his eyes and ran down his cheeks. 'I understand Shae. More than you know.'
Shae kept running until she was in some much pain that she thought she would pass out. Someone grabbed her arm. Thinking it was Howie, she tried to yank it away. "Leave me the f**k alone!" she screeched.
"Stop it! What the hell is wrong with you?"
The sound of Nick's voice stopped Shae's heart. She looked up, her face red and sweaty. She was still trying to catch her breathe. She just stared at him as Nick stared back at her. "Uh, Shae? What's wrong?"
"Yea, thats my name. I'm surprised you remembered it since you never use it." The words were out of her mouth before her brain could stop them.
Nick sighed indifferently. "Look, I was asking what was wrong. If you're gonna give me an attitude, I'm leaving."
"No! Please don't leave. Please...I need you..." She collasped against him.
|
