~ Chapter 16 ~
Kevin stared at Loreto, waiting for her answer. She felt naked under his intense scrutiny. Her first impulse was to lie. To tell him that she was out shopping. But she couldn't lie. He had to know what kind of lowlifes he was dealing with.
"Kevin, we need to talk. Can we go somewhere, please?" She was almost begging.
He gazed down into her big brown eyes. He saw fear there. Something or someone had frightened her. He nodded slowly. "Sure. There's a deli across the street." He took her arm and led her to the deli.
Loreto's mind was spinning. 'How will I start this conversation?' She didn't have much time to think about it. The deli was only a few feet away. Before she could formulate a speech, they were sitting in the deli and Kevin had ordered them some lunch.
"What do you need to talk to me about?"
Loreto took a deep, ragged breath. "You asked me what I was doing out here. I was following you." She watched him, waiting for the explosion.
Kevin's face paled. "You followed me? Why?" His voice was deadly calm.
"I...I don't know," she stuttered nervously. "I saw you sneaking out the back door of the hotel and before I could ask myself why, I was following you."
Kevin's fingers drummed a steady beat on the table. "I see," he said. "What exactly did you see?"
"Everything."
Loreto uttered the word in a quiet whisper, but its impact shook Kevin to the core. He stopped drumming his fingers as his hands started shaking. "Everything?" he repeated. "So you know." It wasn't a question.
"Yes, I know," she answered needlessly. "What I want to know is why?"
"Why?" You want know why?" His voice had risen. He looked around as a few heads turned his way. Lowering his voice, he said, "Who the heck are you to demand answers from me? I don't even know you. You have a crush on some guy that you know nothing about. Working with us does not give you the right to invade my privacy."
Loreto flinched at his tone. "I want to help you. You're on a one-way road to hell if you keep doing that shit."
Kevi laughed. "Hell? I'm already there sweetheart. This little sugar that I bought," he patted his pocket, "is what keeps me from totally losing my mind."
"How long have you been doing this?"
Kevin shrugged. "Actually, this is the first time that I've bought this stuff. I tried it at a party in New York and it made me feel invincible. Made me forget what I don't want to remember. Before I use to smoke weed. Good stuff, but it's nothing compared to this. Why am I answering your questions?"
"Because you need someone to talk to. You need to let it out, Kevin. Whatever is bothering you can't be so bad that you have to turn to drugs. Drugs is never the answer. Doing this won't solve your problems, it will just create new ones. Bigger ones that will have long-lasting effects. Drugs can kill."
"My aren't you the smart one. Do you think I don't know that? I have it under control. I'm not addicted. I already told you that you don't know me. You aren't me and you aren't feeling what I'm feeling."
"Maybe not, but my father is a Drug Counsellor. He's dealt with thousands of cases in substance abuse. He's spoken to my brother and I about it. I've attended many seminars on it."
"That doesn't make you an expert."
"I never said it did. It makes me aware, Kevin. That first concert in Gent last month - I noticed a difference in your performace. Then I started noticing it in your mannerisms and attitude. I may be "just some fan" as you put it, but if I noticed these changes, I'm sure the guys and your family noticed it."
Kevin frowned. "All they know is that I was drinking. Or that's what I told them. I promised that I would stop a few weeks ago. And I did."
"If you stopped a few weeks ago then why the hell did you buy this just now?" Her voice took on an edge. She was getting angry at the nonchalant way he was treating the situation.
Kevin sighed in fustration. "Loreto, let me tell you this once more. Unless you are me, inside my body, feeling what I am feeling, you cannot possibly understand what I am going through. So don't sit there and stare at me like I just toppled off that pedestal that you had me on."
"I never had you on a pedestal," Loreto said haughtily." I just thought..."
Kevin cut her off. "You just thought that we would meet, we'd become bosom buddies, I would eventually fall in love with you, and we would live happily ever after. You thought wrong, little girl. Life is not one big fairy tale with the proverbial happy ending. Maybe once you grow up, you'll realize that."
Loreto stood up, tears stinging her eyes. "You want to know something, Richardson? I understand you all too well. You're the one who's so stubborn that you refuse to see what this is doing to you. Maybe once you get your big head out of your ass, you can see clearly."
Kevin was startled by her choice of words. Seeing that she was leaving, he stood up quickly and grabbed her arm. "We're not done here. I want to know why you looked so frightened when I came up to you on the street."
Loreto averted his eyes. "I wasn't frightened."
"Don't lie to me!"
With a sigh, she sat back down. "Fine. I got accosted by your dealer."
"WHAT???" he yelped. "What did he do?"
"He threatened me. He said that if I talk about what I saw or call the police that he would take you down with him. He knows who you are, Kevin. He knows that you're a Backstreet Boy."
Kevin slammed his fist into the table. Loreto jump and moved back. "GREAT! Just fuckin' great! This is all I need. See what you did? If you would have stayed at the hotel this would have never happened!"
"I'm the one who got threatened. He even told me that I would die a slow, painful death. Don't you fuckin' care?"
"You brought this on yourself. I care about my career. Can you imagine what would happen to me and the guys if word got out?"
Loreto gulped. "You're worried about what will happen to your career if word gets out? How about what will happen to your career of one night you're so freakin' blitzed out that you OD on stage??? Think about THAT, Richardson!"
She stood up and grabbed her purse and bags. Kevin was speechless. She turned back to him. "One more think, Kevin. The only reason that I'm not going to the police is because I care about you. Right now I really don't know why I do, but I do."
This time she left the deli. Kevin didn't stop her. 'She's right,' was the only thought that went through his head.
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