~ Chapter 24 ~
'Where's the hell's Kev?' Howie asked himself. Kevin had disappeared about an hour ago and he couldn't find him anywhere. He surveryed the crowd. Tommy, Dennis, Aj, and Mindy were BBQing and serving food, Brian, Leighanne, and some of the dancers were in the lake, Shae and Nick were involved in a fierce game of Backgammon. Howie frowned when he saw them laughing. Shae was basically ignoring him. He knew that she was waiting for him to apologize to Loreto. He wanted to. He just hadn't found the right time yet. He scanned the crowd and saw Loreto lying on a lawn chair, eyes closed. He made his way over to her.
Indeed Loreto's eyes were closed. She was in daydream land. Thinking about a few hours earlier when Kevin plopped himself down in a chair beside her. He greeted her with a cherry hello then took his shorts off, revealing a barely-covering black bathing suit. Just when she thought the sun couldn't possibly make her hotter, she was on fire. Handing her a bottle of suntan oil, he asked her to do his back. Loreto wanted to pass out. She trembled as she worked on him, wondering if he could feel it in her hands. Sweat started forming on her face and neck. His back was soft, smooth, all man. The urge to run her tongue down his spine had never been greater. She ground her teeth in fustration. When she was done, he took the bottle from her and proceeded to oil the rest of his body. Loreto watched intently as his hands ran up and down his thighs, stomach, chest...it was too much to bear. She put her sunglasses on and closed her eyes. Still, visions of Kevin's bronzed chest glistening in the sun kept dancing in her head. She stood up and ran towards the pier, jumping into the ice cold water. Now she wore a grin as she recalled the memory and wondered what Kevin thought of her taking off like that.
A shadow fell over her, blocking the sun, and jarring her from her daydream. She opened and eye to see Howie standing before her. "Yes?"
"Sorry to bother you," he said, looking uncomfortable. "I wanted to ask you if you've seen Kevin?"
She nodded. 'I saw him walk towards the house about 20 minutes ago."
"Thanks."
She gave him a small smile and closed her eyes. "Loreto?" That voice again.
She opened her eyes again. "Yes?"
"I...I wanted to aplogize for what I said to you the other day. I was an ass. Please forgive me."
She smiled...a genuine one this time. "You're forgiven. Now go find your friend and let me get back to my daydreams."
Howie grinned. "See ya!"
Howie went into the huge house. He called out Kevin's name, but got no answer. He went upstairs and looked in Kevin's room. It was empty. He knocked on the bathroom door that connected Kevin and AJ's rooms and called out. Nothing. 'Where the hell is he?' He went into his own room and sat there, pondering. Maybe he was off somewhere drinking. 'God knows he's not doing the stuff the guys say he is.' Howie wanted to talk to him. See if he could help him with whatever problems he had. He opened the door to the bathroom he shared with Nick and stopped dead in his tracks. Kevin looked up at the same time. He stood up so fast that whatever he had sitting on the toilet bowl went crashing to the floor. "What the fuck are you doing in here, D?" he barked.
Howie stepped back, shocked at the anger in Kevin's voice. "I was looking for you." His eyes followed Kevin's. Kevin was looking down at the stuff that had fallen to the floor. "What is that, Kev? What were you doing in here?"
"N..nothing. Just...nothing, D. Lemme clean this up and I'll talk to you after."
Howie just stared at the floor and started moving closer. "What are you doing?" Kevin asked nervously, trying to push the mess under the carpet.
"I wanna see what this is," he said with determination.
"This is NONE of your business!" Kevin snapped.
"This is MY bathroom so it is MY business!" Howie retorted. Now he was really suspicious. "Out of my way Kevin." He pushed Kevin and bent down. There was a medium-size mirror, now broken. He picked up a piece and held up to Kevin. "Seven years bad luck."
Kevin snorted. "I've already had 18 months bad luck. What's another seven years?"
Howie ignored him and picked up the rest of the pieces. He threw them into the wastebasket. He noticed something else. A filmy white powder. He ran his hand across it, looking at it. Then he spotted the razorblade. He started shaking. He stood up. The color slowly drained from his face. As if in a trance, he moved towards Kevin. Holding his hand out. When he was mere inches from Kevin, he stuck his hand in Kevin's face. He couldn't speak. He just stared at Kevin in hurt while Kevin glared back defiantly.
It seemed like an eternity before Howie could speak. Before he could formulate the words. "Is this Cocaine, Kevin?" He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear his friend say it.
Kevin didn't answer. He just stared at Howie.
"Is it?" Howie asked again, a little louder this time.
Kevin remained silent. Howie lost his self-control. "IS THIS THE SHIT THAT YOU'VE BEEN SHOVING UP YOUR NOSE FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG? HUH KEV? WHAT ARE YOU, A FUCKING COWARD? SAY SOMETHING!? " His eyes were blazing.
"I don't have to answer to you," was all he said and he turned to leave.
Howie ran after him. "Come back here! I'm not done talking to you. I can't believe you. I stood by you, trusted you, believed in you. YOU LIED TO ME! You played me for a fool! I thought you were one of my best-friends? No, I guess that would be this shit!" He waved his hand in front of Kevin.
"Howie, calm down..."
"Calm down? YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?" Hot tears of anger streamed down his face. "How could you? How could you let things get out of hand? Get this far? Don't you care about yourself? Don't you care about the rest of us and how this will affect us? We're YOUR BROTHERS, or doesn't that mean anything to you anymore?"
"You don't understand!" Kevin yelled. "It's not as easy as you think it is. A lot's happened, Howie. This is the only way to cope with it."
"The only way? Are you out of your sick mind? Yea, I know a lot's happened. But you aren't the only one that suffered here. At least you weren't in the hospital undergoing major sugery, you weren't involved in a car accident that left you in a coma with part of your memory missing, you didn't lose you sister to Lupus!"
"I lost my grandfather," he said quietly.
"Yes, I know. So did Brian. And he hasn't flipped out. He's not the one shooting crap up his nose. What's wrong with you, man?"
"Leave me alone, D!"
He tried to walk away, but Howie grabbed his arm. "I think I deserve an explanation. Not lies. The truth this time. Why are you doing this?"
Kevin shook free of Howie's grasp. "I already told you. Leave me alone, dammit! I can't deal with all this and you, too. You've always stuck by me Howie. Just understand that I'm dealing with this the best way I can. The only way I can. With a clear mind."
Howie laughed bitterly. "Clear mind? How exactly clear is your mind with a few grams of Coke up your nose? How do you get this stuff anyway?"
"Enough questions, D! I'm going outside to party my ass off. I don't need to deal with you. I have enough of operation dumbasses watching my every move."
"Who?"
"Brian, AJ, Nick, even Leighanne. And those two other chicks. You think I don't know that they're spying on me? Trying to catch me in the act? Seems like you're the only one who wasn't in on it and guess what? You caught me!" He snickered. "Run to your little snoops and tell them what you saw bad Kevvy Kev do. I don't give a rat's ass! No one can touch me. I'll deny it. It's my word against yours."
"And Loreto's." As soon as the words were out his mouth, Howie knew he had gone too far. Said too much.
Kevin's face turned ugly. "Loreto? What about her?"
Howie hesitated. What the hell, Kevin knew what he meant. "Yea, she told us about seeing you with your dealer."
"She did? Well, seems like she can't keep her mouth shut after all. Too bad. I was starting to grow fond of her. I even had thoughts of doing her tonight when I saw her in that sexy bikini earlier. She just lost her chance."
Howie was appalled. "Don't talk about her like that. I doubt she'd wanna fuck your sorry ass now! She's not stupid. As soon as I can, I'm contacting your mother, Kevin. You need to be in a hospital."
"YOU WILL NOT TELL MY MOTHER ANYTHING!"
"I will and you can't stop me."
Kevin advanced towards him. "Don't make me hurt you."
"This," Howie screamed, waving his fingers at Kevin, "is what's hurting YOU! This shit that you think is helping you is actually destroying your thinking process, your brain cells."
Kevin slapped his hand. "Stop it!"
"I won't stop it. Here...you want it so bad, HAVE IT!" He shoved his hand near Kevin's nose. Kevin pushed him away, sending Howie into the wall. Howie ran forward and threw himself at Kevin. Both of them fell to the floor. Legs and arms fought furiously as they tried to keep the other down. Kevin's fist connected with Howie's stomach. Howie cried out and scrambled out of Kevin's reach. He stood up, holding his stomach. Kevin was still down on the floor.
Howie stared down in disgust. "I never thought I'd say this, but I hate you!" He turned to walk away then turned back to Kevin. Without giving it a second thought, he kicked Kevin in the gut. Hard. Kevin let out a scream and doubled over. "Like how that feels?" he yelled at Kevin's trembling figure. "That's how I felt when I saw you doing drugs!"
Kevin lay there. Howie was gone. His tears were all dried up. He had none left. Only the pain. Not physical pain. Emotional pain. The pain he felt was the pain of loss. Losing his best friend. His friends. His life.
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