~ Chapter 27 ~
Kevin lowered himself slowly to the ground, dangling his feet over the edge of the pier. An eerie calmness crept over him. Not too far in the distance, he could see Brian and Nick with Leighanne and Shae-Lyn. A sail at dawn seemed so perfect. The sun was just beginning to rise, it's glow brightening the sky into an array of redish pink colors. He could hear their laughter echoing across the lake. Happiness. Seemed like a lifetime ago since he knew about happiness. Had felt it. Was it yesterday that Howie had caught him doing a line? His mind was so messed up, he couldn't remember. All he remembered were his friend's eyes. The shock, anger, betrayal, pain. The pain. That's what cut him to the quick. He'd never seen Howie look so hurt, other than around the time he had lost his sister. It made him sick to know that he put that pain there. He also knew that he could stop it. He could take his own advice and check himself into rehab. But he knew that if he did that, the tour would be postponed and there would be a lot of explaining to do. To a lot of people. His mother. His beautiful, sweet mother whom he loved more than anyone in the world. God forbid she should ever find out about this. It would kill her. He couldn't hurt her like that. She represented love, stability, warmth, honesty. It was all he had left in a world that had left him hard and cold.
He looked up as Leighanne's unmistakable laughter rang out. They were coming back. He didn't want them to find him here. Brian would try to be nice and invite him somewhere and Nick would stare at him with those hurtful eyes of his. He stood up and walked swiftly towards the house. His thoughts were spiraling towards depressed again. Can't have that. He must be happy all the time. Even if the happiness is caused by substance and not his inner self. At least when he was high, he felt like he could fly. Nothing mattered. Not Brian, Nick, Howie, AJ. Nothing. He could forget about love lost, betrayal, pain. Stupidity. He could just escape.
"Stop talking so loud. My head feels like Nick used it as a basketball," Howie grumbled in a whisper, putting a pillow over his head.
"D, I'm barely above a whisper," Brian chuckled quietly.
"That'll teach ya to down nearly a case of beer," AJ said, also trying to control his laughter. They got a kick out of seeing Howie crabby.
Howie threw the pillow and sat up slowly, holding his head. "I drank that much?" He blinked in surprise.
"Yea bro. You were downin' them beers like it was goin' outta style!" AJ hooted then abruptly clamped a hand over his mouth as Howie winced and shot him the evil eye.
"We understand why you were drinking. But you owe Nick and Shae an apology. You said some pretty cruel things to them," Brian explained.
Howie groaned. Could this day start off any worse? He stood up, nearly falling over. Holding on to the dresser for support, he turned to the guys. "Could one of you be so kind as to get me some coffee? Lots of it, please?"
"I'll do it," AJ offered, stepping out and closing the door.
Brian sat on the edge of D's bed and watched him as he opened the drawers and pulled out jeans and a top. Everything was meticulous. Neatly folded. Ironed. Not a wrinkle in sight. Brian's eyebrows shot up. "D, you amaze me, man. You're the only one who can find time to iron everything and put it away like you're staying here for good."
"I also arrange my clothes by alphabetical order and color theme," Howie said.
Brian almost choked. "You're kidding?!?!?"
"Am I?" Howie asked, his face not giving anything away. When Brian didn't answer, he said, "B, I know you ain't here to talk about my obsessive compulsiveness. What's on your mind?"
"What happened yesterday, D?"
Howie's eyes clouded over. A flicker of pain appeared in the corners. "I saw Kevin freebasing." He held his hand out. "Please, don't say I told you so."
"I won't. What I want is your opinion. What do we do? Do we go to management? Do we tell his family? Do we admit him into a hospital ourselves?"
"Brian, we can't do anything without telling management. Besides, we have a tour to finish."
"My cousin's life is more important than this tour, Howard." Brian seethed.
"We only have five weeks to go, Brian. It's not like Kevin just started doing this. He's obviously been at it for some time. Another five weeks won't kill him."
"And if it does? DO YOU want to be responsible for that???"
Howie sighed. "Alright. We'll talk to him after the concert in Milan tomorrow. I need some time to myself today. To digest everything."
"Ok, tomorrow night, D. No backing out. As for today, Leighanne and I are going to a carnival in the next town over. You wanna come?"
"Are Nick and Shae going?"
"My guess would be yes."
"Have fun," Howie said, by way of answering no. He wasn't ready to apologize and didn't want to spend an uncomfortable day with those two. 'Gee, seems like all I've been doing lately is apologizing. All because of Kevin.' His headache grew worse.
"I think we're the only ones here who speaka di engleesh," Leighanne jested as she walked around the carnival grounds with Brian, Nick, Shae, Loreto, and AJ.
"Good," AJ said. "The women won't understand when I make lewd comments."
"AJ, behave yourself," Brian admonished.
"I wanna learn Italian," Nick blurted out. They all looked at him.
"My brother took it in college," Shae said. "Maybe he'll let you have his books."
Nick grinned. "Is that a plan to get me to Montreal?" He laughed as Shae blushed.
"Come on guys, let's go on this rollercoaster!" Loreto whined, grabbing AJ's arm.
The rollercoaster loomed before them. The Terminator, as it was affectionately called, was a medievel monster that rose about 30 feet into the air and dipped upside down a few times. Screams could be heard a mile away. Brian and Shae shrank back. "I ain't going on that thing," Brian said. "Unless you want to drag out my corpse."
"I'm not really fond of rollercoasters," Shae said. "Unless they're closer to the ground."
Nick hated them, too, but wouldn't admit it to her. "This one don't look so bad, Shae. Let's go."
When she hesitated, he added, "I'll hold your hand." That's all it took.
Loreto let out a yippee. Leighanne opted to stay with a still "no way are you getting me on that thing dead or alive" Brian.
Shae sat there screaming. She was spun, shaken, turned upside down until her head revolved and her stomach flopped.
When they got off, Nick tilted her face upwards for inspection, saw that she wasn't turning green yet, and decided they could do it all over again. He took her on the Tilt a Whirl. She laughed, shut her eyes, and held onto his hand for dear life.
"Now you need a prize," he declared an hour later, as they staggered off The Ovni.
"What I need is CPR," Shae retorted, holding her chest to make sure it was still there. That last ride had sucked the air right out of her.
Nick smirked. "They're still there, Shae. Trust me."
She smacked him in the arm. "Will you STOP ogling my chest? Now about that CPR..."
"Yea, you wish!" Nick said, pulling her along. "Come on, let me win ya something for being a good girl today."
They headed towards the shooting gallery. "Which one do you want?" Nick asked her.
"That big Dolphin up there!"
"Then it's my job to get it for you. Just stand back, lil lady."
Shae obeyed. He put some money down and chose his weapon. Cheery ducks and rabbits rolled by, with the odd bear or wolf. Nick sighted the air gun and fired.
Shae grinned and applauded, then gaped as wildlife died in droves. "You didn't miss one," she said, goggling at him.
Her wide-eyed admiration made him feel giddy. "She wants the three foot Dolphin," he told the attendant, than laughed as she launched herself into its arms.
"Thank you Nick. You're wonderful!"
His ego had never felt better. "There's plenty more games, baby. Lemme show you what else I can do."
As they walked towards another gallery, Shae-Lyn wondered exactly what else Nick could do and what would it take for her to find out.
A little while later, they met up with the others near The Flume.
"Having fun?" Loreto asked Shae, noting the huge Dolphin and her friend's face bated in sheer happiness. They let AJ and Nick walked ahead in line so they could talk.
"Hell yea. Is it that obvious?" She gave her a toothy grin.
"You're glowing," Loreto observed.
Shae put the Dolphin down and grabbed her friend's hands. "Lo, Nick and I are having fun. We're getting along. We went sailing this morning. With Brian and Leigh. It was great. We docked across the lake and while Brian and Leigh made out, we went for a walk. He opened up to me some more. Told me what he wants for his future. Some of his dreams. There's a lot more to Nick than just a pretty face."
Loreto pouted. "Aw man! No more dumn blonde jokes then?"
"Funny. All I'm saying is that Nick is a deep person. We have more in common than I thought."
Loreto smiled. "I'm happy for you."
Shae smiled then frowned. "I just wish things were as great for you. I know how you feel about Kevin."
Loreto waved off her concerns. "Once he gets help, he'll be ok."
"And you know this because...?"
"I just know," she replied, her voice clearly bringing an end to that discussion.
They got on The Flume. "Get ready to get wet!" AJ shouted out. "Oh and wouldn't you know...all three females among us are wearing white tops," he said to the guys, grinning.
The three girls looked at one another. "You know, there is a name for people like you," Leighanne said. "Pervert."
"And damn proud of it!" AJ boasted.
Loreto rolled her eyes. "If I get wet, I'll poke your eyes out with my nipples."
"Oooohhh, that could be fun," AJ said. "A new sex game."
"Too bad Howie ain't here," Shae said. "He could bring an umbrella." She started laughing.
"Yea as long as the water comes from up above," Nick said, laughing.
The day went well for all of them. Nick was especially glad at the bond that he seemed to have developed with Shae in such a short time. She was the best friend he'd always wanted. She understood him better than he understood himself. As he closed his eyes on the ride home, he rested his head on her shoulder. He heard her sigh and she started playing with his hair. Nick was happy that everything was working out for the best. Shae accepted his friendship. All he needed was someone to have sex with occasionally and he was fine. And there were plenty of willing fans for that. He sighed contentedly. Life was getting better. Not even Kevin could ruin it.
If he could predict the future, he wouldn't be smiling.
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