~ Chapter 35 ~
The next three weeks put the Boys and their friendship to the test. Kevin spent three days in a hospital in Stockholm. The doctors pumped his stomach and put him on intravenous. Strict orders came from one of the doctors: "You are a very lucky young man, Mr. Richardson. Check yourself into a detoxication center as soon as possible or the next time you overdose, you won't be this lucky."
Kevin took his words to heart, the near-death experience scaring the life out of him. Lou came to see him and demanded that Kevin tell him everything. Knowing better than to bother lying to Lou, Kevin broke his silence. Even though it tore at him to tell Lou the reasons behind his slip into depression and substance abuse, he did.
When he was done, all Lou could do was shake his head while the younger mean cried in his arms. He couldn't stay mad at him. Kevin had done something really stupid and his actions had almost cost him the life of someone he loved dearly, not too mention his own life. But everyone made mistakes. He just hoped the others were as forgiving.
Kevin was vehmenent that Lou not tell anyone about this. Especially not the other guys. Lou promised not to say anything. At this point, he was too concerned with damage-control.
Of course, there had been media at the concert and the next day the Swedish newspapers were ablaze with typical blurbs like "Backstreet Boy Richardson loses his mind on stage after battle with Heroin Addiction."
Lou knew this could be the end of the group if he didn't react quickly. Michael and Jeff were calling him, demanding to know what the hell was going on. The road manager was up his ass. After talking to Kevin, they came up with a believable enough story, they hoped, that would calm the media frenzy.
Lou called Micheal and Jeff and told them that Kevin has a drinking problem, but was checking himself into detox as soon as he got back to the States. They seemed to buy it and told Lou what they expected him to do to quail the media before this went any further. Lou took immediate action and after a week, things started to die down.
At his mother's insistence, Kevin flew home to Kentucky with her and Brian. The next day he checked into a very private, detox center in a suburb of Kentucky where confidentiality was regarded as a sacred oath. No one outside the family and a few close friends knew where he was.
Brian was still heartbroken over everything that had happened. He missed Leighanne and needed her now more than ever. On location in Savannah, Georgia, where she was filming a TV pilot, Leighanne flipped out when Brian called to tell her about Kevin. She promised to fly to Lexington in a few days when she had a four day break from shooting.
Nick, Howie, and AJ flew home to Florida. Loreto flew home to Ontario where she was given a week to pack and tie up loose ends before she had to start her job in Orlando. She could barely concentrate as it was, her mind on Kevin every waking minute. She was numb with fatigue and despair.
After Nick pleaded with her, Shae accompanied him home. He was going home to an empty house since his family was on the other side of the country Shae knew she needed to go home, pack up, and tell her family and friends that she was moving. But Nick needed her more. After a week in Tampa with him, she wondered why he even bothered to ask her to come with him. He barely spoke 10 words to her during the day. He spent most of his time in bed, playing video games, or playing with his pugs. Shae cleaned the house, did his laundry, and prepared his meals. He would always thank her and smile, but she knew his heart was somewhere else. In Kentucky with Kevin. She tried to talk to him about it, but Nick shut her out. It was almost like they were stepping back in time to June when he wouldn't talk to her. She felt like a maid for hire. Frowning one afternoon after she tried to talk him into taking out around Tampa, then listening to his monosyllabic response of "No, don't wanna" followed by the closing of his bedroom door, Shae swore she'd make him listen to her. If he wanted to be like this, she would leave. But she knew she couldn't.
AJ and Howie were feeling the same as Brian. Upset, angry, guilty. Even though they had no idea what had caused Kevin's slip into oblivion, they found themselves wondering if they could have done something to help. Why didn't they act sooner? Why didn't tell tell someone? Why, why, why. No one had answers.
AJ and Denise discussed it as did Howie with his sister, Polly. He valued her advice. She told him to be there for Kevin. "He's gonna need you guys more than ever. You may be mad at him, but everyone makes mistakes, Howie. Kevin needs you to be understanding and supportive."
Howie knew she was right. Although he knew Kevin wasn't allowed any visitors for his one month stay at Ellingdale's, he vowed to call him and let him know he cared. AJ did the same thing. Kevin was their brother and no matter what, they would always stand by each other.
Three weeks later (early September)
Ellingdale's
Kevin lay in bed, contemplating the past year and a half. What he could have done different. Why he did what he did. Why he let things go this far...to the point of almost taking his own life by succumbing to drugs. He opened his eyes when the door opened. His mother stood there.
"Hey mom. Come on in."
Ann shut the door and pulled up a chair alongside her son. "How are you feeling today?"
His mother came to visit him everyday. They talked about his childhood, his dad, his brothers, Brian's family, people they knew, her bridge club, the group, but she always skirted around the issue of Kevin's codependency. Until today.
"Kevin, son, I need to ask you something. You've been here for three weeks now. I just spoke to your doctor. He says you can come home in a week. You've stopped going through withdrawal, the therapy is helping, and you seemed clearer of mind. Is he right?"
Kevin nodded. "Yea, the trembling has finally stopped. I don't have those cravings like I use to. What I crave now is a big, juicy hamburger with a heap of french fries." He chuckled lightly. The food here was good, too good. He wanted some greasy junk food.
Ann smiled. "As soon as you're released, I'll take you to the nearest fast food restaurant, ok?"
"Deal. But mom, I'm not out of the woods. I still have the nightmares. I still get the cravings, just not as often. I still think about it."
"I know you do. What did the therapist say would help you with the nightmares?"
Kevin looked down at his fingers, playing with them for a second. "You know what he said."
"Kevin, talking about it is the only thing that will make them stop. Talk to me, son. Tell me what the heck happened to you."
Kevin gulped as he felt his heart contract at the thoughts that were never far away. The mistakes he made still haunted him. The therapist told him only one thing would make them stop. Would make the pain lessen and eventually fade away. Coming clean with the parties involved. His mother was not one of them, but maybe he should tell her. He always valued her advice.
"Mom, it's a long, sordid tale. Get comfy."
She did and Kevin began, "It all started on New Year's Eve, December 31, 1997. I met a girl that night. Actually, I already knew her. But we got to talking that night, really talking, and I fell for her..." Kevin continued, his mother listening in total silence. It tokk him an hour to tell her everything. Amid tears and shocked silence, Ann listened to her son. When he was done, he collasped in his mother's arms. "I'm so sorry, mommy. I never meant to hurt anyone. All I wanted was to be happy. I loved her, mom. I loved her so much. I know what I did was wrong. I guess I was blind to everything around me. Maybe I was an asshole. I thought she was being honest with me. How was I to know? How did I know it would end up this way?" He continued sobbing.
Ann let him cry for a while. When his sobs subsided, she took him by the shoulders, looking into his eyes. "Kevin, I'm not going to sit here and condemn your for your actions. Obviously you now realize what you did was wrong. But you have to tell him. You MUST tell him."
Fear and panic were evident in Kevin's green eyes. "NO! I can't! The therapist said the same thing. Mom, he'll hate me. They'll hate me!!"
"Not if you explain it the way you did to me. They may be hurt, very hurt, but you've paid for your stupidity. They may be angry for a while, but time heals all wounds."
"I can't!" Kevin cried out.
"Kevin, listen to me," Ann began firmly. "If you don't come clean with your friends, you will NEVER feel comfortable around them again. You'll live the rest of your life in secrecy, plagued by nightmares. And one person will never be set free of the pain and misery he's in. So you have NO CHOICE in the matter!"
"I know you're right. The question is, how do I tell him?"
Ann wrapped her arms around her youngest son. "Ask your father for help. He'll make you strong."
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