~ Chapter 36 ~
Florida, Early September 1999
"Do you think Kevin will be able to fly in this week?" Lou asked someone on the phone. After getting his answer, he said a few words and hung up.
"So what's the verdict?" Fatima asked.
"Ann says he's back home and should be joining us at the end of the week."
"How's he doing?"
"She said he seems to be back to himself more or less. He needs to continue therapy for a while, but she says he seems better than he was a few weeks ago."
"Who seems better?" Brian asked as he entered the room with AJ, Howie, and Nick in tow.
"Kevin. I take it you already know he's going to be here at the end of the week?"
Brian nodded. "He wanted to fly out with me yesterday, but Ann wouldn't let him. She wanted him to rest for a few more days."
"How did he look to you?" Lou asked. "Do you think he's ready to film a video and start rehearsals for the North American tour?"
"He's ready, Lou. He's not 100%, but he's ready. The month he spent at Ellingdale's not only helped him get off the drugs, but he was so bored, he was ready to do a show after four days there."
"Are you sure he's.. well, not gonna start up again?" Howie asked worriedly.
Brian turned to Howie. "D, he's gonna talk to you guys when he gets here. He knows he's got a lot of apologizing to do. But one thing you cannot do is lay blame and get angry with him. Hear him out, accept his apology, support him. That's what he needs from us. Kev and I had a long talk before I left. I mean, three hours worth. You think we were women." He laughed. "But seriously, we got a lot out of our systems, a lot that had to be said. There were tears. In the end, we hugged and said 'I love you.' There's things he hasn't told me. Issues he needs to deal with when he gets here. But no matter what, we are family. We all know that and we all need each other." He looked at Nick, who stood quietly, head down, hands in his pockets. "You ok? Do you think you can hear Kevin out?"
Nick nodded. "Yea. I mean, I almost lost him, right? And I freaked out. Ya think I'm gonna jump down his throat?"
Brian put a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "No. But I know your temper and I know how you and Kev go at it. Just give him a chance to explain."
Nick nodded solemnly. "I will."
Lou clapped his hands together. "Alright guys. So you can take the rest of the day off. There's no use rehearsing until Kevin gets here. I'll see you guys on Thursday!"
Nick got home a few hours later. The house was quiet as he walked in, but he could hear Shae out back. The radio was on full blast. Hoping she wouldn't know he was home, he ran upstairs and lay down.
He was drifting off to sleep when he heard her coming up the stairs. "Nick?!"
He didn't answer, hoping she would go away. No such luck. "Nick, I know you're home. Your baseball cap was lying on the floor in the hall."
She knocked quietly on the door. He ignored the knock and pretended to snore.
Shae walked into the room. His blinds and curtains were drawn shut. He never opened them. She walked over and pulled them open, letting the sunshine hit Nick in the face. He scrunched up his nose a bit, but he didn't open his eyes. "Come on Carter. Get your lazy ass out of bed!"
"Go way," he mumbled. "Sleeping."
"Sleeping my ass. All you do is sleep. Now get up or I'm leaving tonight and never coming back."
"NO!" He flew into a sitting position, staring at her sheepishly. "Don't go. I'm up. I'm just tired. I drove to Orlando for nothing."
"Kevin's not back?"
"Nope. He's coming in on Thursday morning."
"At least you got out of the house for five hours. You could have taken me with you. I've never been to Orlando."
"Another time." He lay back down. "I wanna rest now. What are we having for supper?"
Shae took a deep breath, glaring at him. "What are YOU making?"
He cocked an eyebrow. "Funny."
"No, Nick. It's NOT funny. I'm sick and tired of this crap!" Her angry voice echoed throughout the room.
"Chill out."
"Don't tell me to chill out. I've been here for five f**king weeks, and all I've done is clean up after you and those dogs. Not to mention feed all six of you.
I haven't been anywhere other than the grocery store. Oh yea, and that wonderful trip to Wal-Mart. I'm sick of this, Nick. At this point I'm ready to go home and back to my monotonous job. At least the people I work with talk to me and don't treat me like a maid."
"That's not what I do."
"Yes it is! Nick, maybe this wasn't a good idea after all. I'm not cut out to clean houses. My lower back's killing me. My fingernails are breaking."
Nick looked at her, clueless. "You want more money?"
Shae clenched her fists, her jaw set in a straight line. "Are you a moron? Did you hear what I just said or do you conveniently hear what you want?"
"Hey! I take..."
"Shut the hell up, Nick! I don't care how offended you are. This is not about money. This is about you and me and our so-called friendship. You have problems. But so do I. So do a lot of people. That's no reason to shut the world out and treat everyone like they did something wrong. I thought we were making progress in Europe. You were opening up to me. Confiding in me. But ever since Kev OD'd, you've shut yourself off from everyone. Your parents call you and you barely say two words to them. I know you're hurting, but you need to let it out."
Nick shook his head. "It takes a lot for me to do that, Shae. You know that. I already told you how I feel about the Kev issue."
Shae sat down next to him. "Not everything, Nick. Not your innermost feelings. You just skimmed the surface. We haven't discussed what happened in Stockholm."
"WHAT IS THERE TO DISCUSS?" he cried out. "Why would you wanna rehash that horrible night?"
"Calm down," she said slowly. "It's not about rehashing, it's about letting go of what's bottled up inside you."
Nick shook his head stubbornly. "I can't, Shae. Just leave me alone."
Shae stood up. "F**k it Nick! I'm going home. I've had it. I don't have patience for your childish behavior. Remember what I told you a few months ago? When you grow up, call me!"
She stormed out of the room, Nick going after her. "Shae come on. You can't go."
She flung open her closet door and pulled out her suitcases. "Why? Cause there won't be anyone to cook your meals? To pick up after you? You can starve for all I care."
Nick sniffled. "You don't mean that."
She threw some clothes into the suitcases, not looking at him. "Why should I care about someone who doesn't care about anything or anyone? You tell me. This isn't a friendship."
"I just need time." He removed the clothes from her suitcase and put them back in a drawer.
"What are you doing?" She grabbed the clothes and shoved them back in the suitcase. "Don't annoy me on top of pissing me off. As for time, I've given you time. Five weeks of it. That's more than plenty."
"Shae-Lyn...you can't leave. Please," he whined.
"Hire a maid. Or some young, blonde chicky who can cater to your sexual needs and clean your house. I'm sure there's thousands who'd apply for that job. Hell, they'd probably do it for free."
"What the hell do my sexual needs have to do with this?"
"I heard you on the phone with your cousin last week. You were moaning about not getting any since you got home. Poor little Nick. It hurts me right here, "she smacked her chest hard, "to think that your stupid penis is suffering."
"You're a bitch."
"You're an asshole."
His eyes gleamed in anger. "You know you're not going far. You don't have enough money to fly home."
"What do you think I did with the money you've given me? It's not like I went anywhere that I could actually spend it," she said sarcastically. "I have about $1200. More than enough for a one-way flight to Montreal."
"Shae..."
"Nick, do one thing for me."
"Anything."
"Call the airline and make me a reservation for as soon as possible."
Finished with her packing, she grabbed her suitcases and made her way downstairs.
Nick stood there in shock. 'She's actually going.' Trying not to cry, he ran downstairs. "Shae, please..can we talk about this??"
Shae dropped the suitcases and picked up one of his pugs. Her eyes were wide. "TALK about this? You want to TALK? Don't ya think it's a little too late?"
"No."
"Yea Nick. You want to talk me into staying. But not talk about what's really on your mind. Go call the airlines while I take the dogs out for a final walk. I'm gonna miss these little ones." She rubbed her nose against Willie's.
When she got back an hour later, Nick was sitting on the sofa in the dark. She set the dogs free and went to sit down beside him. "When do I leave?"
"You don't."
"What? You didn't call?"
"No."
"Why the hell not?"
He looked at he and she saw tears shining in his eyes. "My family left me, my girlfriend left me, Kevin almost left me. Now you want to leave me. Am I that bad a person that everyone wants to leave me?" His voice broke and he looked away, hugging a pillow against his chest.
Shae's eyes watered. "Oh Nick. Sweetie, it's not..."
"It's not me?" He looked at her again. "Why did they leave then?"
"Nick...."
"I love you, Shae-Lyn. Please..." he bit back a sob. "Please stay."
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