~ Chapter 40 ~
Nick drove around aimlessly for hours. He no longer felt anything but pain. His heart was torn to pieces. One of his closest friends and his girlfriend of two years had played him for a fool. Betrayed him. His body quivered, his heart pounded furiously.
It was after 9pm when he finally got to his home in the Apollo Beach area of Tampa. He let himself in the house quietly, went to the living-room, and fell into a heap on the sofa. He was so drained that he couldn't even walk up the stairs. He wanted this day to end. He wanted to fall asleep and wake up tomorrow with Amnesia so that he wouldn't remember what he found out today. So that the pain could just leave his heart. He didn't want to feel anymore.
"Nick?" Shae-Lyn called out, running down the stairs and into the living-room. "Nick?" She flicked on the light and looked at Nick sprawled on his stomach on the sofa. "Nick are you asleep?"
"No," came the muffled response.
She sat down at his feet, looking at him. She sensed something was wrong. "I was worried about you. You said you'd be back for 7:00 and it's 9:15. Why didn't you call?"
She was genuinely concerned, but in Nick's state of mind he couldn't see that. He sat up abruptly. "Are you my wife or my girlfriend? I don't need to report to you if I'm going to be late!"
Shae-Lyn sat there, dumbfounded as Nick got up and walked briskly across the room. He popped a CD into his stereo and within seconds she could hear Kurt Cobain's voice belting out a tune of perpetual angst. The decibel level rose as Nick turned up the volume until the house shook. He paced the living-room in a frenzy, screaming along with Kurt. Shae-Lyn cringed at the loudness of the music. She got up and lowered it.
"Hey!" Nick came over, gave her a dirty look, and put the volume back up.
"Nick, there's no need to wake up the people in Australia!" she shouted over the blast of music. She reached over and hit the power button. The music stopped.
"What the f**k's your problem?" they both asked in unison.
"You first," Shae-Lyn said. "What's the hell's wrong with you?"
"NOTHING! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Then he was off and running up the stairs.
It didn't take Shae-Lyn long to figure out that something major must've happened. Nick's bloodshot eyes and disheveled appearance didn't go unnoticed. She followed him upstairs and opened the bedroom door he had just slammed.
"Damn Shae, do you have to follow me everywhere? You're like one of my damn dogs! Go away!"
Shae stood her ground, arms folded across her chest. "First of all, I don't follow you everywhere and you know it. Second you just called your sweet dogs "damn dogs." I've never heard you utter a bad word about them so I KNOW something's wrong. Now spill it!"
"Nothing's wrong," he mumbled, eyes downcast.
Shae-Lyn approached him. "Please don't lie to me, Nick. What happened today to upset you so much? You look like you've been crying."
Nick sagged down on his bed, his shoulders drooping in despair. "It was him...all along. I should have known."
"Him?" She looked at him in confusion. "Who?"
"Kevin!" He spat out the word like a bad fruit.
Shae's radar went up. "What about Kevin?"
Nick raised his head and in that instant Shae saw the pain and grief embedded deep in his eyes. She knelt down in between his knees. "What did Kevin do?" she asked softly.
Nick's body trembled. "He...he..." he paused and drew in some air, "he was the one who...who stole my girlfriend from me."
Shae's eyes bulged out of her head and her arms went around his waist. "Oh God Nick, I'm so sorry." She buried her head against his stomach, rubbing his back. Nick's head fell onto hers and she felt his arms around her shoulders, bringing her closer. Within seconds, she could feel the dampness of his tears in her hair. She pulled away and put her hands on either side of his face. "Nick..sweetie...don't cry." All she wanted to do was kiss his pain away as she looked at the man she knew she loved more than anything in the world. Her heart broke because he was in pain. She never wanted to hurt someone as much as she wanted to hurt Kevin or that woman right now.
"How could they do this to me? Why did HE do this to me? I trusted Kevin with my life. He's my big brother. He's always looked after me. He protected me when we were starting out and I was scared shitless. He held me in his arms when I cried cause I so homesick. Then he turns around and takes her away from me. Like what she and I had never existed and she was his for the taking. He F**KED her! And laughed at me all the while. She told me what this "other man" would say about me. I was just a little boy playing adult games, I sucked in bed, yada, yada." He paused, out of breath. Shae stared at him sympathetically him and waited for him to continue.
"Shae, there's something I never told you. She and I... we were engaged. We got engaged on New Years Eve 1997. I know I was young. Not quite 18 yet. She was 19. I loved her. I wanted to marry her when I turned 20. We planned a long engagement. We didn't tell anyone. I didn't want to say anything until I turned 18. But not long after my 18th birthday, she declared her love for someone else. She was so cruel to me. She acted as if our love never existed. Like she'd been tagging me along for two years until she found a real man. I guess that's what she did. She broke off our engagement in the end of February. She also broke my heart." The tears that had dried up were now covered by fresh ones.
Shae got up and sat down next to Nick. "I don't know what to say. I know you're hurting. What they did was very cruel to you. I don't understand why Kevin would do that to you. Did he know you were engaged?"
Nick shook his head. "He says he didn't. I don't believe him. Why wouldn't she tell him?"
"Nick, not to play devil's advocate here, but did you give Kevin a chance to explain?"
"Shae, she was there. She was at the recording studio when I got there. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, I knew something wasn't right. Then I heard Kevin's voice and she was in one of the conference rooms with him. I can't describe how I felt seeing her again. But that's not the worst part." His voice broke slightly.
"Nick, you don't have to talk about it right now if it's too painful."
"No, I wanna tell you. It's afterwards, when I went back to the room. She and Kevin were standing real close. Talking. And suddenly I saw them kissing. But they weren't. I mean, not today. It was a memory from last year. The day of the accident I caught them kissing."
"Oh God. What else do you remember?"
"Nothing." He shook his head. "It was only when I saw them standing there did I remember. But it was just an image. I don't remember anything else right now."
"Nick, maybe you should talk to Kevin..." she was interrupted as Nick bounced off the bed in anger.
"NO! I don't wanna talk to him ever again!" He was so adamant that he scared Shae.
"Nick..."
"Shae," he sat back down beside her, tears spilling out of his eyes. "Do me a favor?"
"Anything."
"Don't mention Kevin's name to me anymore. Not tonight. I want to go to sleep. I want the pain to stop."
"Ok." She stood up and planted a kiss on his forehead.
Nick managed a smile. Then he noticed the tears in her eyes. "Why are you crying?"
"Cause you're my friend and you're hurting. I'm hurting for you."
A tingle ran down Shae's spine as Nick's thumb gently grazed across her cheek, wiping at a wayward tear. "Come here." He lay down on the bed and pulled her into his arms.
Shae lay beside him in utter shock. Her body melted as Nick's arms tightened around her. "Stay here with me. I need you."
"I'm not going anywhere," she whispered, afraid that if she spoke loudly, it would jar Nick out of insanity and he would banish her to her room.
"I love you Shae-Lyn. You'd never hurt me." She never got a chance to say anything to him. He was fast asleep in minutes, his gentle breath blowing softly in Shae's hair.
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