~ Chapter 42 ~
A few days later....
Nick and Shae were in a fierce battle of Mario Cart when the sudden peal of the doorbell startled them. Nick jumped a bit, dropping the remote. He hadn't left the house in days unless it was to take Shae shopping or dinner. She had also talked him into teaching her how to drive so she could take her driving test. She complained that he had all these cars sitting in his garage gathering dust so she may as well use one of them.
Now he looked at her imploringly as the doorbell rang again. "I don't wanna see anyone. Could you tell whoever that is that I'm sick, asleep, dead, whatever."
Shae hesitated, but just shook her head at him and went to answer the door. Nick leaned back against the loveseat and pulled his knees up to his chest. He knew he'd have to face the music sooner or later. Brian had been calling him all week. He'd spoken to him once and when Brian insisted they get together and do something fun while they still had the time, Nick declined, saying he was too busy getting Shae settled in. Of course it was a lie, but he couldn't see the guys right now. Kevin was a part of them, and Nick wanted no part of Kevin.
They were due to start rehearsals for their North American tour next week. The thought of having to see Kevin again turned his stomach.
It was sooner than he anticipated as Shae walked back into the den followed by Kevin and Loreto.
Nick immediately jumped to his feet, his eyes flashing angrily at Shae. "WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOIN' IN MY HOUSE?" he yelled.
Shae flinched. She'd never seen Nick so irate. "Calm down, Nick. He wants-"
"Calm down? CALM DOWN?" Nick interrupted, his pressure rising along with his voice. "I don't give a f**k what Benedict Arnold wants. Show him out." He refused to look at Kevin and turned to look out the window instead.
Kevin cleared his throat. "Nick, I know you're angry with me. And you have every right to be, but-" Kevin held out his hand as Nick turned his stony eyes on him, "please, hear me out. There's something you need to know."
"What else do I need to know?" Nick shouted. "Are you gonna tell me how she said you were better in bed than me? How better of a man you are?" He scoffed as he uttered the latter. "You're not a man, Kev. A real man has honor, dignity, and morals. None of which you possess."
Kevin winced, feeling the words like a blow to his gut. "Ok, I deserve that," he accepted. "But this isn't about making myself look good or placing blame. I'm just here to tell you what she confessed to me the other day...and...and a few other things I need to get off my conscience."
Nick looked bewildered. He couldn't believe this was happening. How much more hurt was he going to have to endure?
Shae saw that his mouth was set in defiance. She pulled him aside. "Nicky, I know you're angry and hurt. But maybe you oughta give Kev a chance to explain."
"Explain? Explain what? NO! I want him out!"
"There are two sides to every story," Loreto blurted out.
"Yea and mine's the only side that's important here," Nick shot back.
"NICK! Stop being a child, sit down, and listen to what he has to say. It won't f**kin' kill you!" Shae ordered, getting angry.
Nick's eyes met hers in surprise. Not wanting to mess with her when she was angry, he plopped down on the loveseat in defeat. "Alright. Kevin you have 15 minutes. Say what you have to say."
They all went into the livingroom and sat down. Kevin sat facing Nick. Kevin was gripping the armrest of the chair so tightly, his knuckles were white. "Maybe we should leave," Shae motioned for Loreto to follow her, but Nick grabbed her arm.
"No, stay. If he wants to talk to me, he'll have to do it in front of you, too." Nick waited for Kevin to object, but he just shrugged.
"Fine by me. I already told Loreto everything."
Shae glanced at her friend, who looked away, her eyes big and sad. Shae felt anxious. She had a feeling that whatever Kevin had to say was only going to bring Nick more pain.
There was silence for a few minutes while Kevin choose his opening statement. Finally he began, "Nick when you saw...that person and I at the studio earlier this week, it's because I called her there. I wanted to come clean with you about what happened that night in 1997 and for the few months following that until your car accident. But she argued with me, telling me that all of that was over with, she's engaged to be married, and doesn't want the past rehashed."
"What night in 1997?" Nick asked, already fearing the answer.
"New Year's Eve," Kevin told him quietly. He saw the look in Nick's eyes and wished the ground would swallow him up. "Nick, she never told me you had proposed that night. I swear to you. She told me that you guys had a fight and that she'd told you she needed time to think about your relationship, and she thought it was pretty much over. We went walking in the garden and she was crying. I was still broken up over Kristy and I guess we were drawn towards one another."
"SHE WAS WEARING MY RING!" Nick cried out, trying not to let his emotions take over.
Kevin shook his head. "She didn't have a ring on."
Nick processed this bit of information, a lump forming in the base of his throat. "We never had a fight, Kevin. I proposed, she accepted my ring with a smile on her face, telling me she loved me and couldn't wait to become my wife. But, you took her home and slept with her, is that it? You took my fiancee home on the night that I gave her something that comes from the very core of my being, and you f**ked her! I....God!" He buried his face in his hands.
"Nick, I DIDN'T KNOW! I can't keep apologizing for my actions. I made a mistake! The point is that SHE lied to BOTH OF US." He went on to tell Nick everything he had told Loreto.
When he was done, Nick's face was ashen. "She...she did all that?"
"I swear on my father's grave, Nick. I wouldn't lie to you. She played us against each other. "
Nick's shoulders slumped. "All she ever wanted was you. She used me to get to you. I can't believe I was STUPID enough to fall for that." He stood up and paced.
Kevin went to stand beside him. "Nick, she's good. She knows what she wants and how to get it. She's got looks and brains. You're not the only one who was stupid here. So was I. And now I'm paying the price for my stupidity." He looked the young man into the eyes. "You're paying the price for my stupidity."
Nick agreed. "Yea I am. How could you just accept her lies? Why didn't you talk to me and ask me what was going on?"
"I didn't know she was lying. She hadn't told you I was the "other man." I was scared, I was confused. Hell, I was an idiot, ok? I can't change what happened."
Nick picked up Houston, stroking her absentmindedly. He felt Kevin's hand on his shoulder. "There's one more thing you need to know."
Nick sighed. "Please don't tell me you got her pregnant."
"No. Nick, I need to tell you what happened the day you caught us kissing. What happened after you ran out of the recording studio. It's about your accident."
Nick turned to look at Kevin. He'd never seen such sorrow in his friend's eyes. It scared him to death. "What about my accident?" he stammered.
"You still don't remember?"
"Would I be asking you if I did? I suffered a major concussion, was in a coma for days, and almost died. I think that part of my brain refuses to wake up."
"Maybe it's better that way," Kevin said softly. "Nick...I...after you ran out, I went after you. You jumped into your jeep and headed east on Rawlings. I followed you. You spotted me and tried to lose me. I...I finally pulled up beside you as we were turning at the intersection. The light was yellow. I pulled up beside you and slowed down and you screamed out at me to leave you the hell alone. You were looking at me and when I reached out and grabbed your arm. I told you to stop, but you hit the gas. The light was red and the truck that was turning had the right of way. You were too busy looking back at me and yelling that you weren't paying attention. Then-" he stopped as Nick's mouth dropped open in horror. "Then...that truck..you were in his path because you were toobusylookingatmeandnotpayingattention." He said the last words hurriedly as if trying to rid himself of the blame.
Nick couldn't speak. Shae put her arms around him, eyeing Kevin with a mixture of anger and hurt. "So what you're saying is that you're responsible for Nick's accident?" she asked.
"Yes." Kevin started sobbing. "If I wouldn't have followed him and distracted him, he would have been paying attention. He wouldn't have been in a coma..."
"I almost died..." Nick cried, finally giving in to his emotions and collapsing against Shae.
"I know, Nick. I'm so very sorry. I'll never forgive myself for being so stupid. You told me to leave you alone, but I didn't. I've been living with this for over a year now. It tortures me everyday. I couldn't even look you in the eyes for the longest time. I thought you would look at me and remember everything."
"How could you Kevin?" Nick sobbed. "I almost died, Kev," he repeated. "I lay in that bed, in a coma, but my brain was awake. I remember being in that bed thinking that I lost everything. The woman I loved most in the world was gone. She was someone else's. My family was gone... everyone was leaving me. I didn't want to live. Because of you. Because you stole my girlfriend and almost killed me. I didn't know it when I woke up, but my subconscious knew it."
Kevin was still crying quietly. "Nicky, I know you probably hate me. With good reason. I don't expect your forgiveness anytime soon, but please know that I never meant to hurt you. It wasn't premeditated. I've always loved you like the younger brother I never had. I've been living with this in my head. The drugs helped, but only for a short while. The nightmares were always there and still are."
Nick stood up. "You're going to have to live with the fact that you almost killed me every day of your life." He said evenly. "I don't think I will ever be able to forgive you. I don't want anything to do with you. You've caused me more pain than I could have ever imagined. I'm leaving the group. I don't want to ever see you again. From this day on you cease to exist for me. Goodbye Kevin."
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"...Silence speaks a thousand words..."
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