~ Chapter 50 ~
Brian swung the rental car quickly around a fork in the road causing some mud to splatter the windows. The rain beat down heavily on the small car, making visibility nearly nil.
"For Christ's sake, Rok, SLOW DOWN!" AJ shouted angrily from the back seat.
Brian gave him a dirty look in the rearview mirror. "Do YOU want to drive?" he shot back.
"No, I don't," AJ replied, "but we won't be much help to Kev if we're dead in a ravine somewhere."
"Kevin just might be dead if I don't hurry," Brian retorted. "So shut up and let me do the driving."
"Will both of you please chill out?" Howie interjected. "Brian, just keep your eyes on the road and AJ keep your trap shut."
AJ smacked Howie. "You little shit! Don't tell-"
They both jumped as Nick's voice resounded through the car. "ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" AJ and Howie stopped talking and Brian slowed down. Nick twisted around in his seat to glare at Howie and AJ who remained silent. "Thank you!" He turned back to Brian. "How much longer?"
"Another mile down this dirt road," Brian answered.
They rode in silence for a few minutes until Howie shouted, "Look, I see Kevin's car. Up ahead."
Brian brought the car to a stop beside Kevin's car. The guys got out of the car, pulling their jackets on. "He's here just like you said he would be," Nick said to Brian. "How'd you know?"
"His suicide note. He said something about a domain and seeing us in that big cathedral in the sky. Look at the sign on the gate."
The guys squinted to read the old, faded sign. "Cathedral Domain," Howie read. "Isn't this the place Kev's dad owned when Kev was a kid?"
"Yup!" He looked at the other three guys. "Are you ready?"
AJ shrugged. "Ready as I'll ever be. I wish we weren't here right now."
"I wish we weren't about to fnd out if one of our best friends is dead." Howie said, letting out an involuntary shudder.
"I'm scared," Nick whimpered.
"Don't be scared, Frack," Brian said, putting a brotherly arm around him. He opened the front door.
The house was in darkness. They inched their way around. "The family room is this way," Brian recalled. He fumbled around until he found a lamp and turned it on.
The noticed Kevin's backpack on the sofa. "Kevin?" Brian shouted tentatively. No answer. Brian looked at the others, fear in his eyes. Their own fear mirrored his. They were all thinking the same thing.
Kevin lay on his back. There were some holes in the roof and he could see the stars shining brightly in the sky. "Tomorrow's gonna be a beautiful day," he said outloud. "Too bad I won't be here." He sighed. "Why isn't it over yet? Why am I still alive? How long have I been out here?"
He tried to look at his watch, but gasped as another excruciating pain shot through his chest. "Maybe this is what a heart attack feels like."
He struggled to sit up. His body was convulsed in pain. It didn't feel like his body. It felt foreign. "Maybe I am dead." He shook his head, the pain in his temples making his vision blur. He tried to focus on the photographs he had pinned on the wall. They all blurred together. He managed to make out one of his father. "Daddy...papa...why are you making me suffer? I wanna be with you. Come and get me, dad, please. Make this pain stop."
His insides felt on fire. Why hadn't the Cocaine killed him yet? He'd taken enough to overdose. More than in Sweden. He couldn't understand what was going on. His eyes fell on one photograph. One that shouldn't be adorning this wall of loved ones. He clutched his abdomen as another pain shot through. "You!" he shouted to the photograph as loud as his weak voice could. "Don't stare at me with your ebony eyes of deception. This is all your fault. You'll pay for what you did. 'Revenge is mine, sayeth the Lord.' "
Mustering up all the energy left in his body, he reached over to snatch the photograph from the wall. He stared at her, his green eyes dark and desperate. "I won't be around to see you gets yours, but Nick will. I'll be watching him, protecting him, and I'll laugh along with him when your life is shattered to ruins." He tore the photograph in half and let the pieces fall to the floor.
He found his favorite photograph of Loreto and kissed it. "Lolo, I'll be your angel, too. I won't let anything or anyone hurt you. Never."
Like you're hurting her right now? How could you do this to her?
Kevin grabbed his head. "No no! I'm not hurting her! She's better off without me. I can only bring her pain."
Holding onto the couch, he pulled himself up. "Can't take this anymore...hurts...hurts so much." He doubled over in agony. "Please..daddy, help me. Why are you doing this?" His eyes shone with unshed tears. He grabbed his backpack. "Only one thing left to do. No one wants to help me. I need to end this right here."
A noise outside startled him. "Shit! No no...." he looked fearfully towards the door.
Brian climbed the ladder and pushed the door open. Time seemed to stop as he saw Kevin. "Kev..." he whimpered.
"What do you want? GO AWAY BRIAN!"
"Kev, I'm not going anywhere." He advanced slowly, his hands out in front of him. "Please...let me help you."
"Help me?" Kevin sneered. "Isn't it a little too late for that? Where were you all those months ago when I needed you?"
"I'm here now, Kev. I love you. Kevin, please, put the gun down."
Kevin pointed it to his head as Brian let out a strangled gasp. "Brian, I'm dying, but it's taking too long. This baby will end my suffering. You have a choice. You can either leave now or watch my brains splatter all over this treehouse. It's up to you."
"God Kevin, no!" He whirled around as he heard movement behind him. He saw Nick climbing the ladder.
"Who's that?" Kevin demanded. "AJ or Howie? I know they're here. They can't help me either. Can't any of you understand? I WANNA DIE!"
Another jolt of pain ricocheted through his body, causing him to fall to his knees. It took him a few minutes to stand up again. He tried not to drop the gun. He stood up on wobbly legs and came face to face with a pair of sad, blue eyes. His vision blurred again. "Gabe? Is that you? Have you come to save me from sufferance?"
Nick tried to steady his voice before speaking. "Kevin, it's me, Nick."
Kevin's face froze. "You're trying to be Gabe with that blond hair and those blue eyes. You can't fool me. Gabriel is an angel just like I'm gonna be. You hate me. Go away."
He turned away from Nick. Nick took a few steps towards him and before Kevin could react, he jumped on him, sending them both to the floor. Kevin screamed as more pain shot through him. Nick pinned Kevin down and knocked the gun from his hand. It raced across the floor and AJ picked it up.
"Get the f**k off me Carter," Kevin gasped. He tried pushing Nick off, but he was too weak.
Nick climbed off Kevin and helped him to a sitting position on his knees. Nick drew himself up and met Kevin's eyes square on. Pain and anger reflected in both pairs of eyes.
"The ambulance is on its way," Nick commented. "We're not letting you die."
"Why not?" Kevin cried out, holding his chest. The spasms were getting worse. "You hate me. You told me so. I'm a girlfriend stealing bastard who almost killed you. I don't deserve to live."
Nick shook his head sadly. "No, Kev. You're wrong. I don't hate you. Please listen to me," he said as Kevin looked away. "Kev, look at me."
Maybe it was the childlike whimper that made Kevin look at Nick. "What Nick? WHAT?"
"I did a lot of thinking on the plane ride here. I thought about everything that's happened since I awoke from my coma last year. When Shae-Lyn told me about Brian's phone call, I almost died on the spot. I never thought my words would have that much of an impact on you -- that you would actually want to kill yourself. But the nightmare is awake. I'm sitting here trying to talk one of my best friend's out of offing himself. I don't hate you, Kev. I never did. Shae said something to me this morning. She said that I should hate the bitch who instigated this whole ruse. She's right...."
He stopped as Kevin leaned over and picked up the torn photograph. "I hate her, too..." he said, handing it to Nick.
Nick looked at it a second then ripped it to shreds. letting it scatter onto the floor. He looked at Kevin. "I can't believe she did that to me, to us."
"I slept with her, Nick. I believed her and trusted what she told me was the truth. I'm just as guilty as she is."
Nick swallowed hard. "Yea Kev, you did something that was really stupid. You should have come to me, but you're not the only one to blame. We were both unknowing pawns in her game of deceit. I blamed you because it was easier than the truth. Easier than accepting that the woman I shared those years with, the one whom I gave everything to, used me." His eyes glassed over. "She never had any feelings for me. It was you she wanted. I gave her the most precious thing I own when I proposed to her, my heart, and she turned around and slept with you while laughing at my expense. It hurt, Kev. It still hurts. I feel like I'm not good for anyone." The tears spilt over, cascading down his cheeks.
"That's not true, Nick. You're...too...go...good." He barely got the words out. The pain was intensifying with each passing moment. He sank down and lay his head on the floor. "You're the good one, little bro."
The sound of his pet name made Nick sob outloud. "Kev...KEV? Don't close your eyes! You can't die! Loreto needs you, your mom needs you." He grabbed Kevin's arm and turned him so he could look into his eyes. "I NEED YOU! Remember when we first travelled overseas and I was terribly homesick? Who was there for me? You. Who took care of me all those times when I was sick and threw up all over the place? You did, Kev. My big brother. Let me do the same for you now."
Kevin shook his head weakly. Nick put his hand under Kevin's chin. "Your father told me to help you, Kev. He doesn't want you up there yet. There's too much left here for you to do. You have to take care of your mom for him. You have to bear him some grandchildren. Don't turn your back on his dying wish."
Kevin's eyes widened, tears spilling over. "Nicky..."
"Take my hand, Kev, and let's walk away together...to a place where we can both be happy again. Please Kev...come with me." He held his hand out.
Kevin stared at Nick and then at his hand. He was torn and in pain. Nick's voice startled him. He was singing softly.
"....the words to say, the road to take, to find a way back to your heart...what can I do, to get to you and find a way back to your heart..." he stopped as Kevin reached for his hand and grasped onto it as firmly as he could.
"Nicky...help me. Please don't let me die...please Nick..." he screamed as more pain rocked his body. "Make the pain stop...I don't wanna die...Nick...please...I don't wanna die..."
"I won't let you die," Nick sobbed. He could hear the ambulance's faint sirens as it approached. "Help is here Kev. Don't give up. Be strong Kev. Be strong like you always were." He lay his head on Kevin's, holding onto Kevin;s hand.
The other three guys sobbed quietly. AJ went out to show the EMTs where they were. Kevin was still crying, mumbling incoherently. "Don't leave me Nicky...stay with me..."
Nick kissed the top of Kevin's head. "Im not going anywhere. I love you Kev."
Kevin opened his eyes and looked up at Nick. "I love you, too."
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